Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
