He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
