dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
