Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
