PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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