Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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