I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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