I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.