i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
