Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Naked Twister starts at high noon
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.