i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
