She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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