im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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