I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
