Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
