After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
