break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
