Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
