I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
