I just pynch a tree in the face
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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