i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
