There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
