you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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