I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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