Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We have started to decorate penises.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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