jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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