Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
