I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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