Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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