My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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