just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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