took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
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She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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