i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ladies don't puke and tell
i think im in europe. pls send help
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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