I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver