Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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