i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
