my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
