If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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