You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
