is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
