Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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