That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm at about main and main street
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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