her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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