He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize