Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
