In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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