I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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