Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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