i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
