I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
