mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
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