She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
