does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
