So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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