It's just like the Real World with babies
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
