His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
