I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize