a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
