At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
