Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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