I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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