and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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