we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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