I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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