The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
