I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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